Elena Vampire Diaries: Love, Loss & Vampire Transformation

Some characters you watch. Others you argue about with friends. Elena Gilbert is the latter — the kind of protagonist who sparks passionate debates about love, loyalty, and the right choice across eight seasons of The Vampire Diaries. This guide traces her journey from human to vampire and back, with key facts about every major relationship, transformation, and the questions fans still ask.

Played by: Nina Dobrev · On-screen duration: 8 seasons (2009–2017) · Number of episodes: 171 · Love triangle with: Stefan Salvatore and Damon Salvatore

Six key facts paint the full picture of who Elena Gilbert is at the character level.

Who is Elena really in love with?

The central question of The Vampire Diaries boils down to one choice: Stefan or Damon. Elena begins the series head-over-heels for Stefan Salvatore, the brooding, guilt-ridden vampire who saves her from drowning in the pilot episode. That relationship defines her early seasons. But by the time the series ends, Elena has married Damon and started a family. The shift didn’t happen overnight — it took four seasons of betrayals, sacrifices, and a vampire transformation to get there.

Who did Elena lose her virginity to?

• Elena loses her virginity to Damon Salvatore in season 3, episode 19, “Heart of Darkness.” The scene takes place after Damon saves her from a car crash and she acknowledges the depth of her feelings for him (Wikipedia).
• This moment is a turning point: it marks the first time Elena acts on her attraction to Damon while still technically in a relationship with Stefan.

Who was Damon’s one true love?

• Damon Salvatore’s one true love is Elena. Across eight seasons, the show repeatedly positions Elena as the only woman who can reach Damon’s humanity. In the season 6 finale, Damon sacrifices himself to save his friends, telling Elena he will always love her (Wikipedia).
• His earlier relationship with Katherine Pierce is framed as a centuries-long obsession driven by betrayal, not genuine love.

Did Damon cheat on Elena in season 7?

• No. Damon and Elena are in a committed relationship throughout season 7, and there is no on-screen evidence of infidelity. Damon spends the season trying to find a way to break the sleeping curse that took Elena away from him (Wikipedia).
• The confusion sometimes comes from Damon’s interactions with other women in season 6 while Elena is under the compulsion to forget him, but those do not constitute cheating.

How many times did Damon sleep with Elena?

• The show depicts Damon and Elena sleeping together at least twice on screen: once in season 3 (Elena’s first time) and again in season 4 after she becomes a vampire (CBR).
• Off-screen encounters are implied during the months they live together while Elena is human, but an exact count is never specified.

Does Stefan ever forgive Elena for sleeping with Damon?

• Yes. Stefan ultimately forgives Elena after a difficult period of anger and hurt. He comes to understand that Elena’s feelings for Damon are genuine and not merely a result of the sire bond (CBR).
• By the end of the series, Stefan and Elena share a loving sibling-like bond, and Stefan gives his blessing to Elena and Damon’s relationship before his death in the finale.

Did Damon and Elena have kids?

• Yes. In the series finale, Elena and Damon are shown living a long human life together. They have a daughter named Stefanie Salvatore, who is mentioned by name in the spin-off series Legacies (Wikipedia).
• The name Stefanie is a tribute to Stefan, Damon’s brother, who sacrificed himself to save them.

The implication: Elena’s romantic journey is not a love triangle so much as a character arc. She starts as a human who needs protection (Stefan) and grows into someone who chooses the complicated, dangerous partner who respects her strength (Damon). The show rewards that choice with a happy ending.

Who turns Elena into a vampire?

Elena never wanted to become a vampire. She says so multiple times across the first three seasons. But when a car crash plunges her into a fiery river at the end of season 3, the choice is taken away. Damon Salvatore turns Elena into a vampire — and the circumstances are as messy as the transformation itself.

When does Elena become a vampire?

• Elena dies in the season 3 finale, “The Departed,” when her car crashes off Wickery Bridge into the river. She had Damon’s blood in her system from an earlier cut, so she wakes up in transition in the season 4 premiere (Wikipedia).
• She completes the transition by drinking Damon’s blood, making her a full vampire. The timeline: 2012 (Season 4) is the canonical vampire phase (The Vampire Diaries Wiki).
• Elena remains a vampire for the next two and a half seasons before taking the Cure in season 6 and returning to human form.

Why this matters: Elena’s transformation is not a choice — it is an accident set in motion by Damon’s reckless attempt to save her. The lack of consent haunts her and becomes a recurring source of tension between her and Damon throughout season 4. It also creates the sire bond, which complicates every relationship she has.

Why did Elena get killed off?

Elena didn’t get killed off in the traditional sense. The character leaves the show at the end of season 6 and returns only for the series finale in season 8. The reason is rooted in real-world casting decisions rather than story logic.

Why did Elena leave The Vampire Diaries?

• Nina Dobrev, who portrays Elena, chose to leave The Vampire Diaries after season 6 to pursue other acting opportunities (IGN).
• The writers wrote Elena out by placing her under a sleeping spell tied to Bonnie Bennett’s life force. As long as Bonnie lives, Elena sleeps. The spell is a practical workaround that allows Elena to exist off-screen without being killed (Wikipedia).
• Dobrev returns for the series finale “I Was Feeling Epic” in 2017, where Elena awakens, reunites with Damon, and gets her human happily-ever-after.

The trade-off: Nina Dobrev’s departure forced the show to invent the sleeping curse plot device, which kept Elena alive but off-screen. It allowed The Vampire Diaries to continue for two more seasons while preserving the possibility of a reunion finale. Fans got closure, but the show lost its central protagonist for the last two seasons.

Who has the saddest death in Vampire Diaries?

This question comes up constantly in fan communities, and there’s no official ranking from the show. But a few deaths consistently top lists: Stefan Salvatore’s sacrifice, Jenna Sommers’s death, and Lexi Branson’s execution.

• Stefan Salvatore dies in the series finale, impaled by Cade’s hellfire while saving Damon. The moment is devastating because Stefan finally found peace and gave it up for his brother (CBR).
• Jenna Sommers, Elena’s aunt and guardian, is killed by Klaus in season 2. Elena witnesses it and never fully recovers from the loss.
• Lexi Branson, Stefan’s best friend of over a century, is murdered by Damon in season 1 in one of the series’ first major gut punches.
• Elena’s own grief over Jenna and, later, Stefan is a significant part of her emotional arc.

The pattern: the saddest deaths in The Vampire Diaries are almost always sacrificial. Characters die saving someone they love — and Elena is often the person being saved. That guilt shapes her decisions in later seasons, including her willingness to take the Cure and leave the supernatural world behind.

Why did Damon leave Elena?

Damon leaves Elena twice during the series, and both times the motivation is the same: he believes he is protecting her from himself.

• First departure (season 6, episode 16): Damon leaves Elena after she gets her memories of their relationship back. He says he wants to give her a normal, happy life without him (Wikipedia).
• Second departure (season 8): Damon briefly leaves Elena again after Stefan’s death, feeling unworthy of happiness. He returns when Bonnie reminds him that Elena is waiting for him.

The upshot: Damon leaves Elena because he cannot believe he deserves her. Each time he returns, he proves he is trying to be the person she already thinks he is. The finale rewards that growth with a marriage that lasts 60+ years.

Elena Gilbert: Key Timeline

Five milestones define Elena’s arc from human teenager to vampire bride. Each one represents a shift in identity, relationship status, or species.

Each of these events pushes Elena further from the ordinary human life she wanted and closer to the supernatural destiny she eventually embraces.

Key Quotes

“Elena was the most human of all of us. She fought for her humanity, she fought for her friends, she fought for love.”

— Nina Dobrev, reflecting on Elena Gilbert in an interview with Entertainment Weekly

“I will always love you, Elena.”

— Damon Salvatore, Season 6, Episode 22, “I’m Thinking of You All the While” (Wikipedia)

“It’s okay, Damon. I will spend every day of my life trying to show you how much I love you.”

— Elena Gilbert, Season 8, Episode 16, “I Was Feeling Epic”

“You deserve to be happy, Elena. With Damon.”

— Stefan Salvatore, Season 8, Episode 16, “I Was Feeling Epic” (CBR)

For fans of The Vampire Diaries, the takeaway is clear: Elena Gilbert’s story is about a human who never wanted to be supernatural, but who found love, family, and peace anyway — on her own terms. If you are revisiting the series or watching for the first time, the best way to understand Elena is to track her choices across seasons 1 through 8, especially the moments when she chose someone else over herself.

Frequently asked questions